DISCIPLINE OR NEEDS

Thursday I had the chance to full fill a discipline for Kurtis that turned out to be very informative on my part as a parent. Jake and I pay the boys for their grades, Austin has put us in the poor house and Kurtis has struggled from the beginning. He refuses to do his homework, and when we can actually sit down with him long enough to help him get it done, he refuses to turn it in. So a few weeks ago Jake and I told him if he didn't get his grades up, that he would earn a parent day or week or month, whatever it took for him to get going on his school work. Thursday happened to be this day. We got up and I took him to school, I checked in at the office with Kurtis, and then proceeded to be with Kurtis, hanging out with his friends and attending his classes....with no make up on and my hair was barely combed :) I did wear a bra though...lucky for him and I decided that nursing pads would be OK too for this lovely day of JR High....Nothing like re-living the past in a grown up body right? His first class was choir and VERY enlightening for me. He has an awesome teacher.....all the kids think he's gay, because he has gay tendencies, or he's very feminine. But he seems to do very well with them, and that's all that counts in my book. He has the kids learning the basics about music, you remember F.A.C.E. and Every Good Boy Does Fine? Along with....quarter note, half note, whole note....teaching them the counts of each one of them. He has the kids doing some hand gestures to help them remember what they're learning. For the Doe Ray Me Fa So La Tee Doe, he has them doing some things with their hands...I noticed that Kurtis couldn't do it if the teacher wasn't in front of him. It wasn't that Kurtis wasn't trying, or that he wouldn't....he simply couldn't. I could see the frustration on that little boys face. I was dumb founded by what I was seeing. After class, I pulled the teacher aside and asked how often this happens. He said that Kurt was doing great today, and that when he feels that someone thinks he's stupid he acts out to draw the attention away from him, or too him, he tries to make people think that he's acting a certain way to be funny, in reality he's truly struggling. His teacher also said that he's learned that Kurtis does better in a group test, where he can watch others. He can't memorize certain things(like the hand gestures). It made me want to cry, seeing him struggle in an area that should be so easy. He is failing 6 out of 8 classes. In his next class we went to, it was a math prep class that we have him take to help him with his Math Disability. His teacher told me that Kurtis does better in a quiet room that Kurtis rarely gets his work completely done. He said that He's fine when Kurtis can show him that he understands a concept, not complete a page of homework. While I was there watching Kurtis he couldn't stay in his seat. He got his work done, but he struggled the entire time and was behind most of the kids....Again, I was very enlightened. I now am understanding why this poor kid is failing so many of his classes. This day started out as a discipline and ended up with an intervention on my part. I went back Friday with some ADD papers for his teachers to fill out. When I was reading the questions on these papers for the teachers, it shocked me....Kurtis is every one of these things.....I can't believe it has taken this long to get him figured out. The poor kid can't read just one book to pass his reading class, he hates reading and can't keep his mind focused long enough to get to the next page much less 60 pages a month to log. Jake and I have jumped on this to try to get this poor kid some help. I've thought about moving him to a school that could work with him more one on one. I don't want him to feel like a failure, that he's a quitter because he can't finish anything he starts. He has a very low self esteem and I'm beginning to really understand why. I just wish that I would have caught this much sooner. He's a good kid, He deserves to feel like he's good at something, he should also be able to succeed at school. I love Kurt, I am so frustrated myself trying to figure him out. Trying to do what is best for him. Sometimes I feel like I'm slamming my head up against a hard rock. No wonder I have so many gray hairs :) We'll get him squared away before we know it now.