AN Overwhelming calling

I was called to be the 3rd week Relief Society Teacher back in August or September. I didn't mind it, in fact it's not so bad, after needing a garbage can at my side for puking in....a few months later I was able to calm down to teach. A few months later. I got called also to be the Ward Camp Director. I had my first meeting at the end of October then the second one in November. Each one was about enough to make me want to throw in the towel. No one introduced anybody, they all seemed to have been part of this for years. If I would have known better, I would have had to say that I was a fly on the wall at a Stake Meeting. I felt that I had NO business being there. I still took notes, and at the end when they asked if anyone had any questions, you bet I raised my hand and spouted off my mouth. They know who Sister Lyman is that's for sure. I told the Young Women Stake leaders and everyone else in the room, that I had NO idea what was going on, and I had NO idea what was expected of me, and I had NO idea what half the terms they were using meant. I was disappointed that I didn't know what they were talking about and I didn't know anyone there. I went home and cried. I couldn't believe I agreed to be part of this. The Stake Young Womens President and one of the counsilors are wives of surgeons that Jake works with. So the whole time I couldn't believe that they were conducting themselves in such a manner. I couldn't believe that my husband is pretty close to their husbands, and I was just meeting these women for the first time and they speaking as if I wasn't even there. I felt totally out of place. It reminded me of when we have gone to Heart Parties back in Utah. Jake used to be on the Heart team. They tend to have a few parties every year. One of them being Christmas, it's usually held at Dr. Mitchell's home, which was also Jake's Dad's Heart surgeon about 3 years ago. I felt very awkward there, about the same as I do at these meetings. Anyways, the next meeting was just as frustrating. The fact that I was suppose to understand all of their traditions, and none of them felt as if they were even comparable to what I remember from when I was a Young Women going to Camp. The 3rd meeting my Young Women's president went, and it was actually for our YCL's (Youth Camp Leaders), I got a glimpse of how many inactive Laurels we had to NOT work with....1 girl showed up and we have a total of 4 to work with. I went home devastated. I couldn't believe that the YCL'S (girls 16 and older that are suppose to be in charge of the other girls) in our ward were going to be so limited. Man this was really not helping me. I cried again. But this time I decided not to focus on the negative, and I got on my knees and asked for some help that I might gain the desire to serve in this calling. Our next meeting was last week, and I was actually given some positive information...or at least I finally was seeing the positive instead of the negative. I contacted my Young Women's President to let her know that we are going to make it this summer. But I have to say that this isn't going to be the easier calling of the 2. I'm going to have to work at it. I thought this was a calling that was going to come very natural to me. HOWEVER!!!! I'm wrong. I am excited to be a positive influence on the girls in our ward. Even though it will be Stake Camp this year, we as a ward are doing A LOT. And our girls will grow closer as friends and SISTERS in this ward. I'm praying that their testimonies will grow through the next few months while we prepare for camp in June. I'm scared that I'm not going to succeed as I should, but none the less this is a challenge I'm willing to take on. In the mean time. I will take my lessons with Relief Society very serious and treat it as a challenge as well. I love my callings. I love the Gospel and for the Knowledge that I'm able to learn through it. I am amazed sometimes on how I feel that I might know it all, then I learn something completely new. I'm truly happy for both callings and seriously pray that I will do a good job. But for now it will be a bit overwhelming.

One of the things that are going to be done differently this year is we're going to be passing requirements off each month instead of all of them up at camp. So every 3rd Wednesday of the month, the YCL's and myself will be teaching a topic for the girls to pass off. This month will be clouds and stars. We chose January because as all of you may know a midnight sky in June here in Alaska is UN HEARD OF. So we will pass that off this time while we do have a midnight sky. Hopefully this Wednesday we'll also have some northern lights up in the sky. Next month will be First Aid. Fun times.....So over the next little while, I may be posting more about our times getting prepared for camp this year.