The POOH FLY

When I was younger, I used to live in Lehi. Our apartment was located next to a dumpster. As kids we thought it was awesome when other people moved because they would throw perfectly good things away. So as a 6 or 7 year old I would go dumpster diving with my siblings and other kids in the complex, and we would find the coolest stuff ever! I learned that there were these huge fly's with metallic looking butts, that would come in and out of diapers like no body's business. So from that day forward I had always called them pooh fly's. As I've gotten older the thought of kids playing with flies or letting flies land on food and then eating it makes me so sick. I can't ever get the image out of my head of these pooh fly's coming in and out of those rotten diapers from the dumpster. So with that history, I have to tell you about the nasty pooh fly's that have been hanging around our apartments. It all started with the old fridge that we finally were able to get rid of. This fridge would shimmy at 2 in the morning, and it would also scare whatever guests we would have over. We kind of got used to it, but then it started to freeze everything. It didn't matter what the settings were on. So I called our landlord a few weeks before Theron was born. He finally replaced the old fridge with a new one. He told us about our Power company and how they will pay you for your old fridge, and they even come and pick it up for you. When I called about it, the soonest they could come was the 2nd of September. This was about 3 weeks of a waiting. It had to be plugged in, and out front for them to come pick it up. So for a while this nasty fridge was sitting at the bottom of the back steps. It started to seep this nasty stench from the bottom. I'm guessing that it was a build up from all the users of this old 1976 fridge. This smell was so indescribable, I can't even come close to explaining the nasty rotten smell, but I will attempt. It was a mix between a full 2 year old poopy diaper that has sat for a few days in a hot plastic bag...and the smell you'd get from old food that might have sat in your garbage disposal for a few days while the AC hasn't ran in the heat of the summer. If you even got a hint of this stench it would make you gag and throw up. At least it would me and Lacey. I refused to park out back until it was gone. Apparently we were in such a hurry to ditch the nasty fridge we forgot some bread, an ice tray that ended up filled with maggots, and 2 whole chickens that were left in the freezer, ohh and some juice. I think that added to the repugnant, rotten liquid that was coming from the bottom of the fridge. So one day, Jerry our Landlord came out to take a piece off the inside of this fridge. He came and opened it up and tried to take the piece off, I thought that I would be of such great help if I showed him how it came off. I mistakenly, with my face covered touched the inside of this gross rotten diaper smelling fridge. Then Lacey and I decided to take a little trip to Michael's. I figured out that my hand stank just like that fridge. So Lacey, the smart one that she is, offered her car freshener to me, it's one of those kinds that have oil in a jar that you stick on your vent. So I graciously accepted. I smeared this lemon scent all over my hand and then walked around Michael's smelling like a fresh lemon. By the time we got back to the car, the Lemon scent was gone and the nasty stench was back. So through out the day I had to keep washing my hands. A few days later, Austin thought that it would be helpful for him to go outside to kill a bunch of the fly's that were multiplying from this beast of a fridge. So he took my fly swatter out and had a hay-day. Later that night while I was at Lacey's helping her with her blog, I had spotted a MONSTER POOH FLY. I couldn't believe how huge this thing was. The more I saw it, the more I could invision where this thing came from. Either the biggest depends diaper known to man....or........THE FRIDGE!! So I went and got the fly swatter while Lacey took a bathroom break and I proceeded to hunt THE MONSTER POOH FLY. I was swinging this fly swatter through the air at this thing. I ended up snagging it out of the air. I felt so accomplished. Lacey got a kick out of watching a waddling, pregnant lady sneaking around her apartment with a fly swatter in hand, randomly flipping it at something. I'm sure it was pretty funny to be a by standard watching. After the hunt was over and Lacey stopped laughing, we had figured out that the smell of the fridge was in her living room. We had shut her window's thinking that the wind was blowing the nasty smell over the house. The smell was still there....nice and fresh. So Lacey lit a few candles.....the smell was still there. We had wondered around the house trying to figure out why this smell was so fresh in the living room and no where else. After a little while I had picked up the fly swatter and was thinking about going home and had swung this thing through the air......and BINGO!! I had found the bog of eternal stench right in my hand. When Austin was swatting the other day at the fly's outside he apparently only killed the ones on the fridge. So he drenched my fly swatter with this never ending rank perfume. I ditched that thing ASAP. We laughed about how dumb we were, but we eventually got rid of this gross fridge on the 2nd. We're getting a check in the mail. I even had the guys that came nearly fall on the grass with disgust. I tried not laughing, but I did explain why it stank and that having it sit out in the heat for 3 weeks would make any old fridge smell lovely. They took it graciously, but we still have some of these nasty flies coming around. I'm so sick of them. I end up seeing one in the window seal or in the bathroom. I have given the kids a lesson on pooh fly's and what they eat. Hopefully they will never play with these things again. I never thought that as a parent I would be sharing this story of my dumpster diving days with my kids, or on a blog. But I've also learned that the "Pooh" fly is my description of these nasty metallic butted things. You won't find "POOH FLY" in the dictionary. But I think everyone now has the idea of what they are. So next time you see a "Pooh" fly remember where it came from, and make sure it doesn't land on your food. And pray that you didn't eat anything it already landed on without your knowledge.