February 3, 2009

As you all know Eddie had a court date in November for his back child support that he owes. I offered for him to sign over his parental rights. In exchange for him to no longer owe and never have to pay anything ever again.....He bit the bait. He agreed. I offered this more because Kurtis has been struggling very hard with going back and forth. Having his dad show up for visitations, and then not showing up. Making promises and then breaking them. We're just trying to nip this in the butt. Kurt is trying to figure out where he fits into to this whole family thing. He wants his dad to want him, but you can't make someone their not. He wants to feel like he's wanted somewhere, in the mean time he's struggling very much with school, church, and not picking the best of friends. He's got a very low self esteem. Lacee our attorney's assistant has been awesome to take this so seriously. We got paper's drawn up finally and Eddie signed on the 13th of January. I wanted to post the 3rd grade looking signature, but the notary(my aunt) said that it wasn't a good idea. She said that I shouldn't post legal documents, so I won't. I've been waiting for this day for so long. On the way over to my aunt's house I couldn't hold in the tears anymore. I looked at Jake and he just smiled at me. I said out loud. "Do you know how long I've waited for this day?" Jake responded with a "yea, I know". I truly have been praying for this for nearly a century. I've had so many tears over this. I have almost thought that there was no hope, and that my children would never be mine, and that I would have to pick up the pieces for the rest of their/my life. Every time something happens and they are hurt from Eddie, I'm there making it better all the time. I have struggled so hard to make their lives better. To know that they don't have to ever see him again is so comforting to me. For years I keep kicking myself in the butt for making so many bad choices. Not listening to my mom when she tried to warn me. Watching Kurtis struggle and knowing that it's my bad choices that give him some of these struggles. Now that Eddie has signed we can move on. The counseling that we have him in, may now do him some good. Lacee called yesterday with our court date for the adoption for Kurtis and Austin. February 3rd at 8:45am. I'm so ecstatic. Then we can finally move forward with a sealing date. This is just what's gone on in our family that has stressed me out beyond belief this holiday, and the last few months. For those that have known about this, Thank you so much for all of your support. We will keep you all posted.